How To Kill Someone (and get away with it)

Bloody ScissorsI have a confession to make. Last year I killed my boss.

When I told her that I was going to quit my job, emigrate to Colombia and follow my dream of becoming a writer, she laughed in my face and said I was crazy.

I’m not the violent type normally. If anything I’m quite placid and try to avoid confrontation. Lover not a fighter.

My reaction was surprising, not least to Mrs. B who received the long blade of the scissors in her orbital socket, puncturing the soft eyeball before sliding into the back of her skull.

Her gurgled screams were suffocated as my arm wrapped around her mouth which caused her to pass out. I made a hasty retreat from the office, hailed a taxi and directed the driver to the airport.

As the realisation of what I had just done began to emerge, the driver turned the dial on the radio to hear a ‘Breaking News‘ report. The newscaster was announcing a manhunt was under way after the brutal murder of an employee in Dublin.

Literally seconds had passed since the bloody event and my mind tried to make some logic that would wave away the doubt, before it dawned. It was impossible. I must be dreaming!

The sudden realisation brought a flood of clarity into my dream state, one that I couldn’t contain and in my excitement I woke up.

I’ve flirted with Lucid Dreaming for the past decade, ever since I had my first experience with Baywatch Pammie – a night that is still etched in my memory.

Shortly after that episode, I devoured all the literature I could find about how to induce the lucid state in a dream. The more I researched, the more desperate I was to return, but despite my best efforts I was never able to find the gap of awareness again.

However, the bulk of my research revealed an exciting world of possibility that could make the grounds for a novel. In 2004, I began writing it and this year I was able to give birth to PATHFINDERS after a difficult labour.

The ability to wake up inside your dreams and fulfil your life’s desires is one that appeals to me greatly. The solitary experience I had with LD felt as real as anything I’ve experienced in this waking reality. I had complete control and mastery of my surroundings for that small window of opportunity (hence why Pamela was introduced).

Experienced lucid dreamers (oneironauts) often use their dreamscapes as a sounding board or training ground which can complement their reality.

  • Practicing Best Man Speeches
  • Reconciling with lost loved ones
  • Conquering nerves by singing in public
  • Letting out the frustration of work by (insert verb here) your colleagues or Boss.

Now, there are an abundance of apps and gizmos that are said to help the regular Joe become lucid. When I was practising, a good ol’ pen and paper dream diary was about as sophisticated as it got. Documenting dreams each day and identifying which dream symbols occur most often – ‘glitches’ in the system that, when identified by the dreamer bring the house of cards tumbling down – are important to promote recall and memory.

Writing a book has certainly brought out a few gremlins from my past. Doubters who are licking their lips at the prospect of me returning to the fold and slotting into the rat race.

Sure, no one reads any more.”
You don’t have the marketing platform.”
The market’s too crowded.”
Authors make f- all money. There are easier ways to be broke you know?

Not to mention the rejection letters from publishing houses and agencies that tore a strip from my heart. Those letters are pinned in the back of my mind. I can see the vague outline of each agent standing over their contribution; the critics beside them, chatting and shaking heads at the folly of the little guy opposite who dared to dream.

That same guy who is sliding out a sharp pair of scissors from the desk drawer.

Pathfinders is available to buy in paperback and digital format
Amazon US
– Amazon UK and other regions


read.nowimage attribution The Horror, The Horror (part 1)John via Creative Commons

16 thoughts on “How To Kill Someone (and get away with it)

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