ayaWhen I look back at my nine months solo backpacking around Central and South America, I’m still amazed at the scope of activities and countries I covered.

The World Cup in Brazil, living with a Guatemala host family for 5 weeks, taking Spanish lessons, deep sea diving in Honduras, Christmas on a beach in Costa Rica, trekking for 5 days through jungle in search of Colombia‘s Lost City, Machu Picchu, the memorable bone-breaker that was Death Road in Bolivia, Argentina‘s Steaks (!), and of course the amazing people and friends I made en route.

There is still one experience that stands out head and shoulders among the rest. The time I spent a long weekend with a shaman in a jungle in Peru and consumed the powerful hallucinogenic brew known as Ayahuasca. Former wild child Lindsay Lohan has been in the news lately about how it helped her conquer some of her demons.

I’ve written a fairly detailed post on my own ‘trip’ here and here, If you don’t want to plough through that, a quick summary can be boiled down neatly.

I gained some powerful insights and reflections on my life leading up to that point that made me question several things. I saw in vivid detail, that my excessive partying and debauchery lifestyle was hollow and I was following that path to what would be a point of no return – utter destruction.

An alternative fork in the road was presented to me. One that led away from the misery and chaos to a higher quality of life – one where a wife and three young children welcomed a fresh, sober, clear headed Aidan fully engaged and connected with his dreams and ambitions.

I also spoke with my deceased Father asking him several personal burning questions, the answers of which surprised even me. He encouraged me to seek out a couple of members in my extended family who were in emotional pain, and to assure them that his healing hand was over them and that their sadness would ebb away.

There were two visions presented to me:

  1. My friend P. who joined me on this retreat, would be shot in the head within 5 years unless he changed his hedonistic lifestyle. I saw that happening as clear as day, outside a nightclub. The sense of loss I felt watching it was incredibly powerful.
  2. I was told that my grandmother would pass away before the month of November.

It was the single most strange/lucid/scary/exhilarating/exhausting/emotional/(insert other extreme adjective here!) experience of my life and shook me to my foundation. For five hours I was rocked around with my head bursting with these images that afforded me no escape.

Recalling it now still sends a shiver up my spine.

That was seven months ago. How have things changed?

I wanted to let some time pass before writing a follow-up post, because I wasn’t sure if any changes felt would be long term or just a temporary phase. Being back in the throes of work, integrated into society again, I felt the time was right to comment.

Friends have noticed a significant shift in me since I’ve returned to Ireland. Certainly it is most striking when we would be having social drinks at the weekend.

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Right or Wrong

Previously I’d be like a dog on heat, getting shit faced drunk and hitting on anything that resembled a girl within a 1 mile radius. Copy-Paste, virtually every single weekend.

Now I’m more controlled, less swayed by my impulses, a lot calmer and not driven by my loins.

I’ve curtailed the excessive partying and become a lot more appreciative of my network of friends and connecting with them on nights out. They miss the old Aidan. Only glimpses of that person come through now but it no longer fits who I am. It feels like I’ve outgrown it.

I jokingly tell some of my friends who’ve known me the longest, that I left something behind in that jungle in Peru and it honestly feels like that. But in many ways, I’ve actually gained something too – that clarity of thought, the bigger picture perspective where I can look beyond the superficial shallow lifestyle that I toiled in, but never truly enjoyed.

Now, I’m back focussing on my passions again – writing, working on my health and fitness, and living a simpler stress-free existence. I’ve started meditating and find I’m more likely to come home from my workday and reach for a spiritual book instead of the TV remote.

My buddy P. is coming to Ireland next week to visit me. We haven’t seen each other since our experience in the jungle and I’m keen to know how it has changed his behaviour, if it has had any bearing at all.

My Grandmother passed away suddenly in the final week of October, and I found myself recounting the Ayahuasca vision many times to family and friends over that week. The interest in it is amazing, but most of those I told confessed that they couldn’t go through what I did.

I suppose that’s the point. It’s not supposed to be fun. Once the portal is opened, there’s no knowing what’s going to be waiting on the other side.

I took those steps, and it fundamentally changed me. For that, I’m grateful.

115 Responses

  1. now after nearly 4 years, I wonder how would you reflect on your experience and what changes it brought to your life long term. Appreciate your time if you could share some thought. Blessings!

    1. May well be worth doing a recap – Strangely enough, the timing coincides with a fiction book I’m releasing next month about Yage/Ayahuasca. Thanks for commenting 🙂

        1. Happy to ping you a complimentary copy ahead of its release. If you send me an email at aidan.reid(@)hotmail.com – I’ll fire it over in a few weeks time.

  2. A wonderful inspiring and for me (simply reading it) healing account of your ayahuasca experience. Thank you Aidan….and thanks too for liking and following my blog. I live in tipperary. When I visited your blog I noticed the post ‘ayahuasca’ and honed in instantly because I recently had a san Pedro experience. Similar in some respects to yours in the clear messages, lasting messages, no nonsense messages, loving messages I received mainly about my past. I feel there there is very little difference between a plant and a human. Science has shown the similarities in dna structure and the basic elements….now…..these shamans have shown that in communication terms there is more connection than i have being led to believe. I wish to experience this connection again…using Ayahuasca. I send you blessings 🙂

    1. Thanks for the thoughtful comment Fionntain! It was certainly a wonderful and at time painful experience which is something I needed to work through in order correct course and understand some fundamental truths about myself. Change is never easy! I’d be interested to read about your own experience. My best wishes to you too and look forward to reading through your blog. 🙂

  3. Wow, what an amazing story thank you for sharing it. I just came across your post by random whilst searching for shamanic things and I am going to go back and read your more in depth details of your ayahuasca experience now. I wish I could have the opportunity to do this too. Although like your friends, I think I would be too scared to go through with it.

    All the best, Louisa

      1. Absolutely! But I freak out just walking in the forest at night with my dog so I think i have a long way to go. Your experience sounded gruesome but I am so pleased it showed you a better path to take in life and it is almost as if the meetings with your dad and the future predictions were instrumental in making you beilieve in the validity of the core message, dont you think ?

  4. Thanks for sharing. This is what I like about following each other is the real stories like this. I hope you can share what’s happening with P.

    Nancy